Be prepared and gather your thoughts before the conversation
- Take time to understand the real reason you want to talk to the person.
- If you want to blame, make them feel bad, stick it to them etc, then you may get your wish, but it will be a very difficult and uncomfortable conversation and you may make things worse. Therefore defer the conversation until you calm down.
- Take the time to understand why these feelings /thoughts were evoked in you, so that you become more aware of yourself and you can share this clearly with the person when the time is right.
- Decide on what you want the outcome the conversation to be – Big Hint your outcome should be a win/win.
Provide space for enquiry and listening
- Find out the other person’s perspective first.
- Listen with an open mind by cultivating an attitude of discovery and curiosity.
- Allow them to share uninterrupted, don’t take anything personally.
- Acknowledge what you have heard by repeating your understanding of what you heard.
Do explain your point of view and agree a way forward
- Share your perspective in a rationale way.
- If the conversation becomes adversarial, revert to inquiry.
- Agree on the best way to move forward.
This business tip is sponsored by BPD Associates Limited, a JobsTT partner. If you want support in developing yourself and/or your team on this topic, please visit www.bpdassociates.com.